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Phoenix Breaks Apart Our Universe

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It has came to most of our readers a surprise to read about the mythical phoenix appearing and breaking our universe into small bits, but no. It is true. To flip your opinions upside-down I’ve decided to zoom in closer on the subject...

It was on the 1st of November last year that lots of our readers explained to Toby News that every Friday for 6 weeks they were seeing a strange blue bird-like alien circling their nearby forests. Well now, that strange extra-terrestrial life form has come back after 14 weeks of hiding, and most of you said it looks bigger and tougher now.

Your theories were in fact right, making Toby News the first press to know about ‘The Great Quackening’ as some of you called it, which is happening now in the Amindoromeda Galaxy, 1,208,000 light-years away from our own galaxy, the Milky Way.

Scientists studying this Supergiant Galaxy have said “The phoenix must have been drawn to power - the icy supergiant galaxy, containing only abandoned meteorites must have sounded like the perfect place to devour.”

Well, i think ‘devour’ is the perfect word for this article; if you look at the Anindoromeda Galaxy before, you see nice, rocky asteroids floating around slowly, but after the attack - or the ‘formost period’ as professionals call it - it is only limited by fires and free-falling comets that could snap a whole world in two.

Luckily, clever people and leaders have sent a team of highly trained warriors to the ever-changing abyss of the Amindoromeda to find the evil bird and bring it back to humanity where it will be horribly burned at the stake by an angry mob bearing maces and axes and death-striking tools in the Albert Square in London, but that will happen in probably 100,000 million years.

Well, at least you were alerted of this intergalactic crisis, and I bet now you have changed your mind on wether this is true, or I just simulated it off the internet. That question is yours to answer...


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