Planex News

We all know about donuts - rings of bread, usually covered with different icings, or mabye even sprinkles. The donut to a scientist is ‘the edge’ of human food, and no food could be more ansintoformosed - or weirder in the common tongue. New-to-science Bevel Astronu has explained to many universities and museums in England that there could be other foods out there - infinite combinations and flavours. And then, 3 years after telling the cleverest minds that a simple  donut was not the end of foods, he decided to start his experiments. He started 20 years ago and has finally finished his massive discovery. It is all written down on various sheets of paper and in complicated language, but our team at Toby News have manage to simmer it down to just three quarters of an article. “We live a new age - one of seven boundaries of the seven foodstuffs of  the seven planets revolving around eating. I call these limits the Phosferacational Layers, one that humanity has not yet conqu

“Oh, you don’t know what you just did...” said one of the moon-buggy drivers after the death of General Wheat. “Kill your leader?!” Thomas laughed. Dawn made some doggy-chuckle sound, which was more of a ‘woof-woof-woof’. With that, the drivers opened a secret hatch in their buggies. Out came a huge yellow laser, with various attachments on it. Tom tried to escape, but an invisible force held him back. “Finding yourself  stuck?!” chuckled the fusilli. The one carrying the laser pointed Thomas at a Martian cave, and it shot the man over there. Dawn was shot into another cave. Hopeless, Tom sat down. Suddenly, he heard a clang behind him. He turned round, only to see a Martian! “Doing what are you here?” said the suprised alien. “Cute! A little Yoda!” replied Thomas. “Yoda not I am.” said the Martian. “OK, then... I’ll call you Gunky!” said Tom. “Name like Gunky I!” “That’s good. But, I’m trapped in here. Can you help?” replied Thomas. “Gunky help I can. Me follow.” With that, the two wa

The so-called ice-cream van got out of its parking space and drove off after Thomas and Dawn at high speed. In case you didn’t read last week’s story, Dawn is Tom’s newly adopted dog that helped him get out of a flaming pit. One of the spy pastas pulled a mini-megaphone out of the roof and called into it. “You can’t hide forever!” she said. Suddenly, Agent Dicker spotted something strange. “The rockets already left!” he exclaimed, but before he could close his mouth, the road in front of him started to give way. Steam poured out whilst a shiny machine flew upwards slowly. “The rocket!” Dicker shouted. “Launching in 3... 2... 1... BLAST OFF!” came the announcer, and the force of the boosters pushed the spy car backwards. Meanwhile, Thomas and Dawn were confused. “There’s no signs!” moaned Tom, and looked at Dawn for help. She barked in confusion, but ran off into the distance. “Dawn! Dawn! Dawn the Dog! Wait up!” Thomas almost caught up, but lost Dawn. “Great. Curse you, Martians!” he e

We eat it when we're happy, sad, celebrating or commiserating. It's an incredibly important (and delicious) aspect of people's lives across the world. But have you ever thought about where chocolate comes from? We have the ancient Mayans of Mesoamerica (what we now know as South America) to thank for chocolate. Although the Mayans weren’t scoffing the bars we know and love today. It all starts with the cacao bean. Yes, we spelled that right - cacao is the Spanish word for chcahuatl, which is what Aztecs called the beans chocolate is made from. It’s thought that English traders misspelled cacao when they brought the beans home, and so cocoa stuck. Back to the Mayans though. They would dry, grind, and mix the beans with water to create a drink. You might think yum, hot chocolate - in fact it was quite bitter and frothy, and was often mixed with chilli. After the Aztecs conquered the Maya, they went berserk for the stuff. The Mayans and the Aztecs believed (and perhaps some pe

After twelve minutes of banging, Thomas opened the boot door, only to find Lieutenant Larry standing in front. “Well, well, well!” he said. “What have we got here?” Tom attempted to escape, but was blocked by 3 pasta pieces. “Throw ‘im in the pile.” said Larry. With that, the two bulks picked up Thomas and took him to a flaming pit full of something Tom didn’t know. When he was pulled forward and then heaved back, an icy finger ran down his spine. Humans! “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!” exclaimed Thomas as he was thrown into the hole. “Have a nice trip!” laughed one of the bulks as soon as they walked away. “Grrrrr...” stormed Tom as he walked to the edge, feeling the wall. “Tar!” he exclaimed. “People!” Thomas began. “Do you have any matchsticks? Anyone?” he scanned the area to see if anyone was still alive. “Woof! Woof!” barked a cute sausage dog and leaped forward, a box of matchsticks in his mouth. “Who’s a good boy?! You are! You are!” Thomas stroked the pet and toook the matches out of his

As all of the fusilli pieces turned round s  l  o  w  l  y, Thomas saw his chance to get out of there. He picked up a plank of wood from what used to be his coffee table and surfed his way to safety, only to be blocked by Sergeant Wheat. “Going somewhere?” he questioned sarcastically, but before he could finish his sentence, Tom was outside. “Cheerio!” he said and ran off. “Aaaatteeeeeention!” he shouted. “Team A, track down our friend here. Teams B, C and D, continue to rampage across this place. Teams E and F, kill allof the humans you can. Finally, Team G, be on the lookout for any homo-sapien rebels, then kill them and eat their livers. I’m on Team A.” As the general marched down the road at high speed, Thomas risked a look from behind his hiding place, a bush. He had heard all of the conversation about which teams were going to do what, and had decided to spy on Team G. He wondered if they would actually eat their livers. Probably not if you ask me. Tom saw somebody’s car on the s

It was the night of Valentines Day. Sutton-in-Ashfield Hall ‘s romantic music was dying out as lights turned off around the town. The cold wind swept through the misty air as a man wearing a top-hat strolled through Burton Street. When he turned round to look at a shop selling shoes, his umbrella was mysteriously whisked away. “Creepy” he whispered to himself, wiping a raindrop off his glasses. As he continued his evening stroll, more of his items disappeared; his cloak, his top-hat, his glasses, everything, gone. “Is it Sherry wanting her pasta maker back?” he questioned and walked towards a telephone box. “Hello police?” he said, but before they could answer back, the telephone vanished. With that, he ran back to his little cottage in Hucknall, trying to spot the mysterious burglar. Meanwhile, on top of Berry Hill, Mansfield, an army was being formed. All the leftover pasta scraps had been dumped into the nearby Power Plant,  causing them to come alive. “We all know Bobbo has gone to

This time you may have read about some new and unexpected chemicals being added to ashtrays and fountains in recent days. But that’s not all. Bitterly acidic chemicals are also now being added to Das coils, apparently as a culinary trick. The trouble is that these chemicals are disrupting the naturally occurring sulfates found in Das and are likely to further contaminate the already highly acidic or alkaline water supply of any area in which they are installed. Sulfates are naturally occurring natural compounds found in water and stone that are important in purifying the water. They are also vital in removing bromides which are naturally occurring in the water and can create detrimental factors in the systems of industries. They are the primary reason why we have crystal springs in which they are found. Das coils have been affected by sulfates as well. Scientists have known for many years that sulphates provide a good source of nutrients in water and most have recommended these substan

Why are so many people obsessed with killing great swathes of precious biological flora? Something is clearly wrong and the topic crops up all the time. A recent article in the Telegraph refers to extreme land use policies, most of them behind closed doors, that are bound to result in “dead zones” in seawater, dead ecosystems in arable land, and even other physical alterations of habitats. Surely we don’t need more death, pain and sorrow? Why is it that in pursuit of progress and consumption, we often overlook the intrinsic value of earth’s vital resources and push so hard to take any invasive invasive species for ourselves? Many of us don’t realize how important seeds are in our food system, and why getting them right is a vital step in ensuring good health. Worldwide, many people struggle to get the plant or animal seeds they want into the food system, because the small plots and various locations of land these seeds are planted on don’t suit our lifestyles, and seeds in the wild are